Wednesday, March 27, 2013

happenings of late

Brian started a new job at the end of January as an Explosives Investigator for Homeland Security. He works at Reagan National Airport, just six miles from the house. When he was retiring from the Air Force, we knew the hiring process for any government position was a slow, tedious process, but we didn't have that kind of time. He took a job with a major government contractor, which landed us in Arlington. We originally wanted nothing to do with the East Coast once retiring, wanting to get back to the desert...Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado or Utah...but quickly fell in love with the area. We knew that job was simply that: a job to get a job, a stop gap while waiting for a position with DHS. When we got word that he'd been selected and would start in January, we were both excited. Brian was looking forward to the brotherhood feel of being back in an EOD flight with other guys that totally speak his language. I was happy that while he would be investigating explosives et al, he would never again have to put on the bomb suit or put himself in danger. He is much happier at this job, and that makes me happy, too.

***

I have struggled with my weight my whole adult life. Just before Brian and I met in 2008, I was at a good place with my weight and body image. And then things in our life went into warp speed: he deployed, he got orders to move to Virginia, we got married a week after he came home from Iraq, we moved from Utah to Virginia a month after that. The two years we spent in Hampton were really good and really bad. They were really good for our relationship, learning how to be a team and partners and friends in that near isolation. They were really, really hard for me. Leaving Utah and my entire life was incredibly difficult and sent my  dormant-until-then depression and anxiety into a tail spin. I gained back all the weight I lost and then some. I HATED WITH A BLINDING RAGE where we lived (Hampton) and was homesick for nearly two years. It's a blessing that Brian stuck it out with me, I'm sure I was a miserable person. On top of my homesickness, I was struck by bizarre health issues: four months of severe facial nerve pain brought on by a terrible dentist's sloppy work; a case of pityriasis rosea that started on our anniversary trip in NYC, debilitating anxiety attacks. And finally, Brian was on the road nearly two weeks of each month. Those were hard years. The uncertainty of where we'd land after retirement didn't help, either.

But. Now that we're finally settled, for real, and we love where we live, and Brian has the job he's wanted for a long time, it's time for me to take better care of myself. What I eat has never really been the issue, it's more about how much coupled with my lack of exercise. I'm lazy. Sure, we take walks or occasionally bike, but I need to get serious. I decided to join Curves again (I was a member years ago in SLC) and so far have really liked it. I am not following their meal plans because the anxiety brought on by the plan was too much to handle AND my life is too short to eat food I hate. My goals are simple and few. I am NEVER going to be a skinny mini, plus I like my curves (so does Brian)...I just don't want to get any bigger. I'd like to tighten up and be stronger. I'd like to be healthier now so Brian and I can have years and years together...we found each other so late that we have a lot of time to make up for.


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